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Still Too Sad

by small goth

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1.
intro 01:49
2.
I'm constantly scared of something nothing in particular I'm learning how to breathe I am the epitome of emotional instability I belong inside of a collapsing house so what's happening outside of me will look just like my sanity what's happening inside my body maybe one day I'll sleep and maybe one day I'll eat I can't remember the last time I consumed anything but coffee anxiety-induced chronic loss of appetite mood fluctuating and I wake up shaking I think I'm breaking... down I don't know quite who I am anymore my body is so foreign to me third person POV dissociating paralyzingly maybe one day I'll speak and maybe one day I'll move my feet I can't remember how to walk right now and I don't feel like me I feel like shit every time that I'm sober but I know doing drugs won't cure me; the fix is temporary but now I'm fucked up permanently maybe one day I'll be genuinely happy function normally in society
3.
sick burn 01:42
burned my bagel but I'm gonna eat it anyway tryin not to let it bring me down today had a cup of coffee to wake me up but the coffee was burnt too what the fuck? I'll have a Xanny or two to calm me down because I hate it when you're not around you are sleeping in my bed right now but I'm packing to go back to our college town
4.
5.
we are all victims, but you think you're the only one we're all just trying to make it through to the setting sun the days are hard; believe me I know the nights can be so much harder when you are all alone it'll hurt me, but if it's what you need you can always take it out on me I'll stand by your side when everyone else leaves but remember you are not the only one who bleeds
6.
7.
paranoia is no fucking fun boy, you could've been the one beneath the sadness I am fun but anxiety blinds me like the sun you love me with vomit on my face from feeling like I don't have a place I wish I could live in outer space I wish I could feel your warm embrace paranoia please stay here, my dear I can't help but think you would leave me here alone

about

MY FIRST RELEASE featuring some brand spankin new songs, plus a fun story, plus a track I mixed myself (first time doing that), plus a track from the Bangkok Blend Summer Sampler 2016, you know, just an array of songs

credits

released June 25, 2016

SNP - uke and vocals

Special thanks to:
-Zooey Sorice for the heartwarming anecdote
-Dan Lynch for mixing/mastering sick burn
-Ben Freiman for teaching me how to use Audacity
-Juliet Wenzel for the album artwork (photograph)
-Noah Elias for the album artwork (drawings)
-PBR and marijuana, because without you this album wouldn't exist

Thank you to all of my friends who inspire me every day
and thank you to every band out there who has influenced me, even though you'll probably never read this

Much love to all,
xoxo SNP

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small goth Rochester, New York

formerly ptd. is snp.

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